On Tuesday, we got a call from our caseworker. As it turns out, the birth mom did like us and asked if we could meet her mom. We were totally okay with that seeing as her mom was fully supporting the adoption plan for baby boy. We waited most of the day for confirmation of the meeting and time. I had been shopping for things on FB marketplace and went out to pickup some items in the afternoon. On my way back home, around 3:30-4, I got a call from our caseworker that we needed to be at the hospital at 6:30 that night to meet the parents.
The day itself had been long - waiting to find out what was happening and work... well, that's a whole other blog in itself. Because we already fell in love with the baby, we said we would be there. I suggested I pick Rodney up from work since his office isn't far from the hospital and so that's what I did. I sat in rush hour bumper-to-bumper traffic to get downtown. I picked up husband and we arrived at the hospital a bit early - around 6pm. The caseworker explained that she and the social worker would not be there, but that the parents would "come find us" and take us up to the room. Then she said "by the way, they are running behind schedule". Remember... I was already annoyed - from waiting and work and traffic - so I grumbled and sat there. I was still nervous - not knowing who we were waiting for or how they were going to be with us.
As we sat there, I see the birth mom walking toward us as if she is going outside to get fresh air. She still looks emotional, but when she comes up to me, she hugged me. Okay. That's a step in the right direction. She mentioned that her parents were on their way and I told her we knew as we were waiting for them.
We see this couple walking past us and they look over and immediately recognize us from our bio. The woman said "Crystal? Crystal & Rodney?" I barely had a chance to confirm before she and the man grabbed each of us and hugged us as if they had known us for years. That led to a pleasant conversation as we made our way through the hospital maze to the room where the baby was. They told us how they feel this is the right thing and are encouraging the birth mom to follow through.
The birth mom caught up to us just as we were getting on the elevator so we all ended up in the room around the same time. We found out they were evaluating baby boy to possibly go into the NICU due to some post-birth withdrawal. The nurse was sweet and brought him down to us a short time later as we were conversating with the birth mom and her parents.
Birth mom was more more relaxed with her parents in the room. We asked more questions - about her upbringing, about her interests, about her other children... and along the way, I picked up on some mannerisms of the birth mom as she razzed her mom about shopping and spending. There was a distinct both hands on hips and I loved seeing a little sass from her. Maternal grandma also shared that birth mom was pretty stubborn so I fully expect baby boy to get some of that. I learned baby boy's siblings are athletic and it's believed his birth father is as well. Rodney joked that he can play football or basketball or whatever kind of sport - as long as it's not cheerleading. The birth family laughed but 1000% agreed.
Meeting the parents was validating in a lot of ways. We learned about birth mom's childhood trauma as well as how her addiction began (car accident > prescribed narcotics). It is easy to conceive how that could happen to anyone. So, it is a different narrative than the typical "they went out seeking drugs" as the prescribed narcotic was essentially a gateway to other drugs. Birth mom has tried several times to kick them and spent her 2nd & 3rd trimester in a rehab facility. She also has a plan to enter a long-term facility once baby boy is released to our care.
While it's been a hectic week and the news of a baby didn't necessarily come in the way/shape/form we expected, he is beautiful and precious. We can see a future where we can have visits with birth mom, her parents, her other children - as an extension to our family. It is the best thing we could all do for baby boy, so I hope we are able to make that happen at some point. In the meantime, we committed to staying in close connection and providing regular updates on how baby boy is progressing.
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