Malachi had a good Saturday night so when we arrived to the hospital Sunday morning and spoke with the doctors, they said he was ready for discharge. Husband and I were excited to finally bring him home.
We got home and introduced him to Maximus. Maximus was curious and wondered what this little thing was making pterodactyl noises :D But we kept saying "gentle" in hopes he would understand that he is a big boy and Malachi is a little boy.
We got Malachi ready for bed. Husband allowed me to go to bed and get a "head start" since I was still catching up from the night at the hospital. I got about an hour and a half of rest before husband put him in the crib and the madness ensued. He wanted to essentially be held the entire night... I am not a fan of this as it creates a pattern of behavior that is hard to break allowing them to be held or sleep in alternative places. Nothing I did the entire night would calm him - except holding him. Aside from the headstart of sleep, I mayyyybe got another 30-45 min the entire night.
Husband and I had dentist appointments and then Malachi had a pediatrician appointment. I was an emotional mess the entire day. I talked to my girlfriends and of course the pediatrician and they agreed with forcing Malachi to sleep and get used to his crib. Then I didn't feel so bad for trying to enforce this.
Husband and I had a heart-to-heart that night. Just airing out our feelings. Our true feelings. Are we too old for this? Are we in over our heads? Are we really equipped to handle a withdrawal baby and all the sleep deprivation and nerve-wrecking non-stop crying? Husband shared that he was feeling a lot of that too...
I don't know how this is going to turn out. Husband and I aren't people who just throw in the towel or give up on things, but this... This is SO. MUCH. HARDER. than anything we thought "in theory". None of the home study courses or vetting we had to go through truly prepared us for this.
Goddddd, what do we do?
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